Myraids of Wierdness

How can productivity be increased? A human spends 8 hours a day

sleeping. These two have an awesome correlation. Have a person work

even when he sleeps. Welcome to a new concept - Dream works :D

All companies should strive to create a dream portal that allows an

employee to log in to the dream portal. The process of registration is

simple -

1. Employee sleeps for a period of one week in the office. The

biorhythms are calculated with a weighted average and stored into a

centralized server. The pattern is assigned an authentication and

stored.

2. Signed declaration form from the employee adhering to -

a. No under sleeping

b. No dreaming of "other stuff"

c. No sleep in sleep ;) (tricky one to imagine)

The employee, upon sleeping, has a machine attached to him

brain/arm/whatever that detects the biorhythms and sends the info thru

internet for authentication on remote server. After authentication,

the dream begins.

Advantages of the idea -

1. Since thoughts travels faster than speed of light, the work

done is only limited by the infrastructure capability of the

organization. So practically unlimited work done.

2. Employee can be made as happy as possible. All employees have

BIG cubicles in unlimited spaces

3. Telephone bills can be avoided - People can travel to any

location at the speed of thought, you see.

4. No snacks and breaks needed. (Well, breaks might be needed in

the physical world, but hey! You can always depend on Pampers)

5. Companies can pay the employees in dream money. (Good Pay

scales now are a dream anyway)

6. Employee has a 100% work life balance. Waking time - now work

and when there is work - then you can sleep. In short you work during

sleep

Problems foreseen -

1. Employees kidding to their spouses that they have a lot of

work and then going to sleep

2. Speed of thought doesn't restrict people from watching movies

(kinda slow!) or watching soccer (bit faster) and escaping from work

for "short" intervals

3. Employee taking 10 mins breaks in Hawaii

* To be continued!

** The idea is patented. Will haunt you in the dreams if you violate

the copyright!

Conversations from the backseat

I woke from a light sleep in the bus.

Again... I was entertained in the bus that rambled through the the 'main' roads of Hyderabad. This time it was from one of the sophisticated IPhone users who use the call waiting features in the omnipresent mobile phones.

"Hello... Haan, bol re" ... (Yawn!!)
"Bus mein". "I said I am in the bus. Tu kahan hain?" (Faulty line?!!)
"I said, where are you? Saale, sirf English mein baat karega kya?" (English Babu?)
"Ok... Voice is not clear? Sure, will stick to English" (Wow!! we have a phone that works for English only!!)
"Yeah! Will come to the cafe... Sure... Same place... Swiss Castle mein nahin re... Baju wale cafe mein". (Know you rendezvous point: :D)
"Hold on... Another call"
"Hello..." (Hmmm!)
"Hi Neha... Kaise ho?"(Wooooh!! Girls, hmmm)
"Can you please stick on for a minute? Will end the other call" (Stick on what??)
"Rei... Mein miltun... Office se call hain... bye" (Kaminey, jhoot bolta hain...)
"Hi Madame" (French accent)
"Yah... Learning French you know..." (Ahah!!)
"Yeah... Its a pure melody.. Not tough you know... easy" (Impression maar, saale)
"Je suis Bindass.... He He He" (Abey, this is used for something else? Is your name Bindas?)
"Toh, kaisi hon? Kahan ho?"
"Hyderabad mein? Wow, Kaise Kab?" (????)
"Kisse?" (Oh! Shadi ka mamla?)
"Wow!!! Awesome." (Ladki ladki se shaadi kya? Oye!)
"Arranged hain kya... par na, my experience says that you should understand your partner before proceeding?" (Mazak hain kya? Teri kitni experience hain be?)
"Ask him to take you out?" (Saale, jal raha hain... you have a crush on her)
"US, Dollars are not important, love is... Understanding is the key" (You know you have none of these and isliye baashan deraha hain...)
"Kab hain? Agle hafte" (Can plot in a weeks time eh?)
"... Ok.. getting one more call... Will call you." (Abba!!! phir se?)
"Hope you are happy" (:D, haar maan gaya?)
"Hello... Haan re... saali shaadi karri... will meet you in 15 mins"... (Hmmm)

So saying, he got down in the middle of the traffic from a running bus.

Happily Forgetful

All things said and done, life is always like that. When you are busy planning how life should be, life is busy implementing how you should be. This is the greatest irony of life. No clue on how much Avril Levine (Hey Avril, sorry for the spello) knows philosophy, but she hits the nail on the head when she sang "Complicated". There were times when I wondered ceaselessly, "What is the end?". Never worked out.
Maybe, the best gift that God has ever given to the mankind is the ability to forget the hurts and good things of life. The worst punishment is the ability and the internal urge to remember things. Wouldn't the world be a far better place if everything was "Forget" mode? After being through a loss, there is a tendency to remember things by keeping stuff that remind us of it. Photos, voices, videos and that constantly gnaws at the heart reminding that "It could have been the other way".

Me and my ramblings!!! Forget it.